I believe this happens at least once to everyone, from the biggest movie buff to the casual viewer:
You are reading a book, or even a comic book or graphic novel. Half way in, you are enjoying the world the author/artist has created, and the characters that live within. As you read, a bright lightbulb clicks on inside your mind’s eye. A revelation! You think to yourself, wow, this could be a kick-ass movie! I’d pay money to see this! Why hasn’t anyone done it yet?!
It is probably for the best, frankly. How many times have we seen these sorts of movies getting butchered? While it may be unfair to suggest all of Hollywood is guilty of being greedy folks out of the expense of the fanbase it caters to, but it never seems to fail that for every good gem of an adaptation we get, tens upon twenty more pieces of bile keeping getting pumped out. And as fickle as the filmmaking business as proved itself to be, this proves to determine which adaptations will turn out rocking socks or pissing off the key demographic difficult.
Yet hope springs eternal with every film adaptation, from the newest episode of the glittering vampyric soap-opera to the next big fantasy epic with alien invaders.
So, without further ado, here are the top five films that I, personally, would love see made, but am mildly glad they dodged the bullet, for now…
5. Redwall
While it got a short run in the UK as an animated television series, Brian Jacques’ extensive twenty-or-so long book series where woodland rodents live much like humans in a peaceful abbey, defending their home against vicious sea pirates and blood-thirsty warlords, never had the streamline success that Harry Potter and its various copycats had. While animated films and talking animals are much of a winning combination as chocolate and peanut butter, there may lay an underlining reason to why Redwall may not get a film of its own – these animals have a tendency to gut each other, with at least two prominent characters murdered by the middle of each book. This is not implying that the books are relentlessly violent or considered too grim for children, as they are the demographic the novels were written for. In fact, the majority of these books share as much mixture of dark and light-hearted elements that could be found in the Harry Potter series. If anything, I feel it is much due to the West’s or rather America’s view on animation. While comic and slap-stick gimmicks are easily glanced over, and often expected, a more realistic depiction of violence in a “cartoon” always seems taboo. Given the lukewarm reception to Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, a film in which owls ravage in dogfights and armed to the teeth with armor, this may open doors for a Redwall film to be realized. And while CGI is the way to go with animation these days, seeing Redwall in cell-based animation, much to the style of Don Bluth’s take on The Secret of NIMH would, at least in my opinion, would be awesome to watch.
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4. Resistance: Fall of Man
For those who read my review to this year’s alien versus human romp in Battle: Los Angeles can argue that this entry to the this list can easily parallel to many other alien invasion films like it, and fall into the same clichés that the genre has established for itself. And you may be absolutely right. Besides the backdrop of alternate-history England after the events of World War II, there wouldn’t be much that a Resistance film could differentiate itself from its predecessors.
While the game may be the same (no pun intended), the board, pieces, and rules are slightly different. Unlike the Marines in Battle: LA, the British and American armies in Resistance are arguably more inferior to the Chimera alien weapons, making them a tougher foe to beat. Also, new Chimera are born from the virus the species can spread, and has virtually no cure to those humans infecting it, giving protagonist Nathan Hale a more personal motivation to fight against the Chimera. This gives ample chance to provide conflict among supporting characters and character development, since Hale could turn any moment, and the fact that the world in the 1950s wasn’t exactly a fully trusting and united one. Then again, it would require a good script, a director whose vision of the film that doesn’t collide with the tone that the games intended, and a bit of money to pull off. But seeing how video game films do critically, already, a Resistance film can easily turn mediocre, at best.
While the game may be the same (no pun intended), the board, pieces, and rules are slightly different. Unlike the Marines in Battle: LA, the British and American armies in Resistance are arguably more inferior to the Chimera alien weapons, making them a tougher foe to beat. Also, new Chimera are born from the virus the species can spread, and has virtually no cure to those humans infecting it, giving protagonist Nathan Hale a more personal motivation to fight against the Chimera. This gives ample chance to provide conflict among supporting characters and character development, since Hale could turn any moment, and the fact that the world in the 1950s wasn’t exactly a fully trusting and united one. Then again, it would require a good script, a director whose vision of the film that doesn’t collide with the tone that the games intended, and a bit of money to pull off. But seeing how video game films do critically, already, a Resistance film can easily turn mediocre, at best.
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3. Thundercats
If nostalgia has proven anything with the course of time, not all things age well. This is certainly true for Thundercats. I enjoyed my own share of this show, as I’m sure many countless others have, there are plenty of things with it that would be downright silly if they were maintained in a big-budget film today. Hell, could anyone argue that if Snarf acted in such film like he did in the cartoon, it would make Jar Jar Binks an enduring character by comparison? Uhh… Perhaps not. Regardless, certain tweaks would be in order for a Thundercats film to be taken with an ounce of seriousness, or at least made accessible. Too many tweaks, or the wrong kind of tweaks, and the film would fail in arguably worst merits. I can give you two guesses what other set of films based on 80s cartoons went down that path and ended up a god-forsaken trainwreck. Here's to crossing fingers the TV reboot will enjoyable.
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2. Half-Life / StarCraft
When acclaimed game developers have a knack of creating outstanding games with some of the most noteworthy narratives in the medium, some cannot help but pry at the notion of such games making a smooth transaction to a film adaptation, even if they ultimately denounce such an idea as being a disservice to the game(s), some bold enough to state that their storytelling elements are superior to that of filmmaking. However you might feel about the topic, the folks at Valve and Blizzard sure know how to give their games the cinematic touch, hinting they could be capable of making films themselves if the trailers to their respected games are a testament to that trait (something that Valve have teased about looking into, but just leaving it at that).
And with Sam Raimi still onboard the World of Warcraft picture (at least from my understanding as I type this), who could rule the possibility of StarCraft getting its own production green-lit? While I, and other, can dream, Hollywood still hasn’t laid a finger on Halo, no doubt the most prominent game of this generation, for a film opportunity, much speculation placed that nobody wants to piss off fans if it ends up sucking. And even if studios okay either a Half-Life or StarCraft film, it would seem wrong if the Valve and Blizzard had no part in the production, which would likely be the case. If so, I rather not see it done.
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1. Calvin & Hobbes
If you needed two reasons as to why a Calvin and Hobbes movie should never be made, as much as I would love one, I would give you these: Garfield and Marmaduke, both comic strips like C&H, and both their movies sucked hard. Even Bill Murray himself was so ashamed of the Garfield picture that he even mentioned it as he died as himself in Zombieland (did I need a spoiler alert for that one? Sorry...). Lousy jokes, lousy plot, lousy casting with the exception of Murray; pretty much everything about the film was lousy. Whereas the comic strip had some charm and humor to it, Garfield’s feature picture debut was a rather hallow and mirthless snooze-fest that tries to needlessly cram the “importance of family” any chance it got. The Marmaduke movie was cut much from the same cloth.
Not to rule out that movies adapted from comic strips is impossible, however. While Over the Hedge wasn’t spectacular, it was a solid film (and even had a “family” element spread throughout but on more tolerable levels) and felt almost on the level with the tone of the comic strip. If Calvin & Hobbes were to have the potential of a good movie (and I really think it can), a delicate balance between the hilarity and the more somber pieces of all the characters that would fit into such a film must be maintained throughout. Most importantly, the connection between the two title characters must feel genuine, as they were in the comics, friends with their ups and downs, the mischief they both get themselves into, and their appreciation (and sometimes abuse) of each other must be steadfast in execution. Also, cutting corners must be avoided. And lastly, such as project needs to be handled by caring hands if it is expected to be great, and the only hands I see worth of handling are from the creative team of Pixar, masters at building a story with as much heart as laughs, something that I strongly feel a Calvin & Hobbes film needs.
(So, yeah, if anybody at Pixar, as unlikely as it may be, reading this: make a Calvin & Hobbes film and I will gladly pay full-price, opening night to it!)
Not to rule out that movies adapted from comic strips is impossible, however. While Over the Hedge wasn’t spectacular, it was a solid film (and even had a “family” element spread throughout but on more tolerable levels) and felt almost on the level with the tone of the comic strip. If Calvin & Hobbes were to have the potential of a good movie (and I really think it can), a delicate balance between the hilarity and the more somber pieces of all the characters that would fit into such a film must be maintained throughout. Most importantly, the connection between the two title characters must feel genuine, as they were in the comics, friends with their ups and downs, the mischief they both get themselves into, and their appreciation (and sometimes abuse) of each other must be steadfast in execution. Also, cutting corners must be avoided. And lastly, such as project needs to be handled by caring hands if it is expected to be great, and the only hands I see worth of handling are from the creative team of Pixar, masters at building a story with as much heart as laughs, something that I strongly feel a Calvin & Hobbes film needs.
(So, yeah, if anybody at Pixar, as unlikely as it may be, reading this: make a Calvin & Hobbes film and I will gladly pay full-price, opening night to it!)
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