Ode to the Blue Hedgehog

Ah, Sonic the Hedgehog. Remember when you used to be so cool? Awesome, even. Remember the great times we had, in those 16-bit era days on the Sega Genesis? I don’t know about you, but as a shut-in, reclusive youth of nigh eight years old, I remember those days fondly. It was a sweet, sweet time in my life:  too young to care about the console wars that raged between Sega and Nintendo, too naïve to see that the Sega CD and the 32X were novelty console add-ons with great games that were almost non-existent, when you had less annoying companions, no rival hedgehog with a Vegeta complex and guns, and Eggman was still Dr. Robotonic.

"You're kidding me, right?"

Yep. It was a blissful time, then. Quite some time has passed on since then, hasn’t it? The commercial failure of the Dreamcast pulled Sega from the console market forever. We both got older. You got slimmer, got yourself a cast of more buddies (some more god-awful annoying that it hurt), and with more and more games, you started losing your charm. I got more cynical with age and, deep down, grew very disappointed in you. You were a major icon to me as a kid. Hell, you should have seen my face when I got one of your plushies for Christmas, when I was but eight years old.

The times have not been fair to you, not that Sega or the Sonic Team has been generous either. You’ve come between a rock and a hard place, old friend. Fans demand that you return to your roots, yet the corporate wants you to sell millions, trying the same things that made a fat Italian plumber that has made the Big N so fat from profits.

It would be bigoted to claim you aren’t trying. Many, including myself, would love to see you rise from the ashes, in the glory of your former self. It’s hard. We are treated to disappointment at every bend and turn. You and Sega keep insisting you’ve learned from your mistakes, going to set things right. Some of us are growing tired and a little mad of it all.

Yet, time after time, we get baited into every new game. This time, you even tickled our nostalgia further:

I’d be lying if I was touched a bit. A little excited, too. I wanted to believe. I wanted to convince myself that this was it. I wanted to throw all doubt away and embrace you again into my life. The hero has returned, I would say.

Forgive me. I wanted to believe. But it’s hard to. I hope you understand. You are free to try, but you would need to work damn hard to impress me again. Don't take this the wrong way. It is asking for a lot, I know. I just don’t want to be disenchanted again by empty promises.

At least you left a great legacy behind. That's something. Thanks for the fond memories.